It's sometimes hard to believe that in my nearly 3 years being Primal, I still haven't found "the way" that works best for me. Then I realize it's because my life is always changing. Work, overtime, no overtime, school, no school, ... I'm in a constant state of change. Aren't we all though? I've tried high fat. I've tried zero carb. I've tried 3 squares, Fast-5, one big meal...
School is full speed ahead right now. Between classes, work, and the gym I'm at home for breakfast one morning a week, perhaps two, and at home for dinner 4 nights a week at best. Lunch might happen on the weekends if I'm lucky. It seems I eat away from home more than at home anymore, which can make cooking and eating a real drag. I also find myself IFing more than I had been simply out of convenience. The trick is getting enough fuel for my workouts. And enough sleep. Sleep is as important as food and exercise when it comes to feeling good and healthy.
My recent addiction to True Blood isn't helping much.
I'm also trying not to be concerned about my increased reliance on whey. Granted, I have probably the cleanest whey possible, but it's not "real food" and doesn't nourish me the way a good steak or pile of eggs does. It is, however, quick and convenient when I'm at work.
Perhaps there's no harm in making it 1 of my 2 meals a day for a few months while in school. After all, in the grand scheme of things it's just a blink of an eye, right?
For what it's worth, I might be in a good pattern of under-eating and IFing through the week, and feasting a bit more on the weekend. The hard part is avoiding sugar, which I've been craving a lot more lately. What I wouldn't give for a doughnut sometimes. The cleaner I eat, the better I feel, it's true. I'm reminded of that every time I slip or stagger, and then clean myself back up. Sugar and alcohol do not make me feel good, but it seems that sometimes feeling bad is the only way I can remind myself what good feels like.
Are these the words of an addict?
Or maybe it's my dysfunction.
My main struggle is keeping my indulgences within a single day, let alone a single meal. It seems like the harder my week, the more justification I have for going overboard. It's never anything TOO bad, but cheesecake, non-GMO corn chips, Larabars... that stuff adds up. Convenience doesn't happen, especially without a microwave.
What I need is a plan.
That's my goal for this week, to find a plan that I can manage for the remainder of the semester. It's gonna be a long 3 months.
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