We also have a similar, what could be called dysfunctional, relationship with food. It's not an eating disorder. It's not even really disordered eating. It's just... One of her blog posts prompted me to take a better look at my own issues with this, and write about it.
Most of you know about my history with weight and weight loss, much thanks to Mark Sisson at Mark's Daily Apple. I've had some great successes with the Primal Blueprint, and I've also had some huge failures. This is not a reflection on Primal Blueprint because it absolutely works. I simply managed to show you can have a less-than-optimal lifestyle while also eating the best foods possible.
I've also been struggling very recently with staying Primal and not cheating too often. In an attempt to not be too restrictive, I've managed to not really be restrictive at all. I struggle to find equilibrium in my diet. My friends, as much as I love them, aren't a huge help in this arena. The guys have a mindset that because I'm working out again that I can indulge and eat what I want. It's very hard to explain that my workouts are not meant to be a justification for eating anything, they're to get strong and fit. I also seem to have trouble convincing them that some foods like wheat and dairy really do make me feel crappy, and that it's not just in my head or me being a stubborn Food Nazi.
|This trumped cheesecake. |
Brian's body parts making another appearance.
I ate well all through the day yesterday, starting out with a cup of coffee with cream & stevia, and a banana for breakfast during my 8am chemistry class. "Lunch" was a snack of cheddar beef stick (from my butcher) and a red pear. I hit the gym hard and returned home to enjoy a sweet potato with Kerrygold, a bit of leftover braised cabbage, and the leftover venison heart.
|I just LOVE chicken feet. Plain with a little salt,|
or slathered in Frank's Red Hot & butter.
|Perfect example of System D. When you don't have a spatter screen... |
a mesh strainer works just as well.
Today I did nearly as well. I ate light through the day- cheddar beef stick and coffee with cream held me throughout the day, and for dinner I made egg drop soup. I may have over-thickened it with arrowroot however.
Right now I'm just trying to have a rational relationship with food and not obsess too much. Before I was Primal and running 7 miles every morning, I was insane about what I ate and when. 5 meals a day, tracking every single calorie. 1300 calories a day most days. I was smaller then, in truth, but I was also obsessed. Now I try to keep my calories in the 1600-2000 range, and I'll occasionally eyeball estimate my intake, but I can't allow myself to get sucked back into Fitday or any other calorie tracker. I try not to think too much about it too much, but I'm in this tug-of-war between wanting to wear my size 6 jeans again, and sanity. Part of it is realizing that this is a process, and that I'll get there with time, persistence, and patience.
It's also a matter of reducing stress, staying hydrated, getting plenty of sleep, and in all other ways taking care of myself.
February Squats Challenge continues. I've been doing about 100 squats every day or every other day, 50 in a set. I'm up to 600 now. I tell you what, yesterday's second set was brutal. I was wrapping up my day at the gym and by the last 10 I just wanted to cry. But... I did it. Only 400 more squats to do in the next 10 days. Totally do-able.
Countdown to Warrior Dash continues. 174 days until the big race! Don't forget, I'm participating in a fund raiser for St Jude Children's Cancer Research Hospital and I would greatly appreciate it if you'd sponsor me! I'm hoping to get 49 people to match my $10 donation. You can do that by visiting THIS PAGE. (And thanks in advance!)
That's all for now. Maybe if I update more often the darn posts won't be so long!