Ok... I'm not sure if there's a question here at all, or if it's just some thoughts and musings about my "situation."
So I've been Primal for some 3 years or so. I really don't know. It's my lifestyle now.
Generally non-Primal foods aren't an issue. I don't find myself jonesing for bread, pasta or cake (usually.) Do I indulge occasionally? Sure... ice cream once or twice a month. Rice a few times a year. Other grains even less often. I know my gut really doesn't like wheat, so it's easy to avoid. When it comes to eating Primal, I'm set.
Exercise... I've not been in any sort of "routine" for probably a year or more. Part of it is boredom and lack of motivation to do stuff at home. Part of it more recently is just being too damn busy. 40-50 hours a week of work, and 12 Credit Hours of school.
I don't sleep and play nearly enough.
Over the last couple of years, having quit running 45 mpw and busting my ass at the gym, I've gradually gained 25 lbs, going from size 6 jeans to about a size 9/10. Sure, I'm annoyed.
I got to thinking about people who are new to Primal. They switch to Primal eating and the weight practically falls off. I switched to Primal from a point of seriously over-exercising and under-eating. I think over the last 3 years I'd been doing my best to maintain that awful imbalance. Stop being a food/exercise Nazi and you gain weight.
So here I am... 25 lbs heavier, eating what I want, when I want. I weigh a couple times a week. I don't track my food at all. If I want meat, I eat meat. If I want carbs, I eat carbs. Hell, if I want ice cream or rice... I wait til Saturday and if I still want it, I have it.
Exercise is circumstantial- standing throughout the workday (because it's a factory) and lifting/carrying the occasional heavy spool or pallet. Fridays I still swing my 12lb club before lunch. Besides that... not so much. Do I like it? Not really. I would love to hit the gym every day and do "real" workouts, but that's not my life right now.
My thought is this, and I could be wrong...
Take the time now of not really working out and eating fairly freely to "heal" my body and get it right with itself. Eventually it'll find a balance between food intake and weight, right? My body will adjust to however much I'm eating, then should level out, so long as I stay Primal and provide lots of nourishment. I may gain a little more. I may get a little bigger, but it's ok because I'm essentially "resetting" my system. Then I can work on losing the extra fat the RIGHT way, not struggling to maintain CW weight loss on a Primal diet.
This is the experiment. If it fails, it fails. Truth be told I don't know what "success" or "failure" looks like. It's just my life right now and I'm not about to judge my Primal "worth" by how much I've lost (or gained.) It's the journey that's important and I can tell you right now I feel 1000 times healthier than I did when I was 25 pounds lighter. That, I suppose, has to count for something.
7 comments:
Good thoughts! I like the idea of going forward with this idea of an experiment in mind. Even if it fails, at least you feel good.
My feelings on exercise is that it should be fairly effortless (you should NOT have to bust your ass at the gym everyday to maintain a fit body) and it should not have to be everyday. So I guess I don't think you should feel so badly about not going to the gym! There are ways to work in stuff on the fly or at home if you want to, otherwise, just continue feeling good :)
I find in times of stress, the real winner is to make maintenance your bitch. Making sure to eat enough to be happy and nourished, and not overeating when stress bites down (the biological ramifications of regularly overeating freak me out). When you have that mastered, you're better off than most of the country.
As someone who's also lost a lot of weight, I have so, so much respect for you. You are young and gorgeous and didn't go bonkers in the process.
I get really overworked sometimes too. Student, intern, freelancer...it adds up. When I can't or have no desire to exercise, I try to increase my NEAT. If you find any catharsis in cleaning your house, do that! Ramps up your burn. If I have to study all day I make sure I change my seat fairly often. Just to get me up and moving. And I stay the hell away from the kitchen, but that's just me.
so i've known you for about a year and a half now. we've hung out in person many times, and i've endlessly stalked your primal journal back in the day.i think its pretty safe to say that i know you pretty well.
this experiment you're talking about is nothing new to you. you've done it before. and before that. in fact, youre in a cycle - you start out by initiating some kind of extreme/restrictive behavior, burn yourself out on it, then exclaim "forget this, i need to heal by body" and go the opposite way by indulgence. don't believe me?
here's a time where you decided to eat what you want, when you wanted.
a mere week later, you go back to some kind of extreme behavior.
and here you are, now, going back to eating whatever you feel like, just like in july. you're saying the same thing you did back then, just with different justifications.
go back to the last year or so in your primal journal. you did it there, too. you had periods of severe calorie restriction, then would, again, say "fuck it" and go back to this.
again, this is nothing new to you.
how's that workin for ya?
you've been primal for 3 years now, yet your body composition has not improved at all. in fact, you've just stated you GAINED 25 lbs in the past 2.
how's that workin for ya?
how many times in the past year have you pressed that reset button? really, go back to your primal journal and look.
no exercise regimen or religious practicing of 'The _____ Diet' is going to make a lick of difference if your head is not in order. get that in check first, the rest will follow.
and i'm not saying this to poopoo all over you, i am doing it because you are on the short list of friends i give a crap about.
what's the definition of insanity? doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. break that cycle.
Ok, so what's the answer?
What do I do?
honestly? first thing? slow down. breathe.
i really, truly relate to where you are right now, because i went through the same thing. you remember last year when 25 lbs popped back on me. i was absolutely desperate to get that back off. i panicked. i needed it off and i needed it off NOW. tried low carbing again - nothing. tried extreme calorie restriction - still nothing. even went back to excessive cardio, stupidly, and yes...still nothing.
you know what i DIDNT do? honestly give myself a little compassion, understanding, and a little practice of self awareness. compassion, mind you, does not equal acceptance. you dont have to necessarily accept yourself, but be kind to yourself. once i did that, then took a deep, hard look at myself, my surroundings, and my behaviors, did things really click. take this time for a little introspection. really, honestly, take a look at your behaviors, actions, and thoughts.
slow. down. that's your first step.
Truly, that's the plan. So long as I'm in school all weight loss and body recomposition is off the table. It's not on the to-do list until I graduate. I have enough stress already. If it ain't fun or play, I'm not interested. :)
Work, school, eat, sleep, study, play. That is my life for the next 2 years. And really I'm not panicked about the 25 pounds. It is what it is and all I can do is acknowledge the now and accept what is.
I hope after I graduate to start really working out, maybe get MoveNat certified. But for now I'm gonna have FUN with yoga, tar kwon do, and whatever else my school offers.
best of luck to you, babe. <3 to you! lemme know end of semester visit plans!!!
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